Hello, good evening and welcome to the newest and brightest outlet for all your naughty needs.

Everything you need for a good night (or day) in (or out) alone (or with as many friends as you can cope with) can be found right here at competitive prices, Vibrators, Dildos, Bondage, Anal Toys, Dolls, Stimulators, Enhancers, Costumes, Lingerie, Strap-ons, Boys toys, Rabbits, Eggs, Beads, Novelties, Leather, Lace, Rubber, Lubricants, Condoms, Pumps and much, much more to keep you and your partner occupied for hours. Keep an eye on our featured section and sale pages for fantastic bargains and offers. You can shop with peace of mind because we want the same things as you. We host the website on stand alone servers and use the latest e-commerce software and systems to keep your information secure. The name on your invoice, credit card receipt and statement will be DM Holdings. Place your order before 4 o’clock and we will wrap it in a plain wrapper and post it to you, first class Royal Mail, that same day (unfortunately, we have no control over it once its in Pat’s van). If you are not 100% satisfied, simply head to our returns section and we will refund your money, simple.

We know that you are going to love the site and its products as much as we do and we look forward to many long and happy relationships with you all but for those of you who want even more, how about a few facts from the Denmark 2009 Wank-a-thon (I’m serious)

Longest Masturbation time – men: 7 hr 45 min
Longest Masturbation time – women: 5 hr 4 min
Number of orgasms – men: 8 – Danish record.
Number of orgasms – women: 222 – World record
Ejaculation distance – men: 2.50 meters
Ejaculation distance – women: 3.15 meters – World record
Target ejaculation – men: 6 centimetres from bull’s eye
Target ejaculation – women: All over bull’s eye

It seems that the girls, definitely, have the edge here………..unless you know better.

Dont be shy, write to the blog and share your thoughts, jokes, secrets etc with the rest of us.

Speak to you soon

Willie Havver